New Found Freedom
by DirtyWings
Summary: The Force Awakens. Basically a Kylo Ren x reader fic, but it's probably going to get a bit lemony. The First Order destroys the planet you live on and takes you with them. Kylo discovers there's more to you than he thought. Rated M cause there's gonna be smut.
1. Chapter 1

All your life you have dreamed of the day when you would be free. Free from this prison, free from this planet, free to be yourself. No one knows about what you struggle with every day. No one knows that you're forced to restrain your power or else you'll really be locked away. People look at you and they see the princess of the palace. The princess of this kingdom that you don't even belong to in the first place. But to you, this kingdom is not your home, and this palace is a prison that you can't escape from.

Until the day the First Order attacked.

You could see it happening from your balcony. Homes and buildings were being destroyed, men in white armoured suits were shooting citizens with their blasters. Reckoning, ruining. And they were headed straight for you. Straight for the palace.

You stay in your chambers, but you can hear the destruction happening within the palace walls. It doesn't take long for them to find your room, and when they do you are hidden. As they search the room, you think to yourself. This could be your chance to leave this planet for good. You know these attackers aren't from this planet, and surely when they find what they're looking for they will go back to where they came from. You form a plan of action for yourself. And then you step out so that they can see you.

The men in white armor shoot at you, but you block their fires. You fight back for a bit, to let them know you are trouble. Using the power you've had since you were young, you pull the gun from one armoured man and bash him over the head with it, and he falls to the ground. There's a man in black robes and a hood. He's holding a red light saber, but it doesn't look like the kind you've seen before. There's something different about it. He speaks, his voice is robotic and a bit muffled from the mask he is wearing. "She's useful. Take her to the ship." He says, and the soldiers charge for you, taking you by the arms and dragging you with them.

As they escort you to their getaway ship, you stare at the land you've come to hate fall to pieces. Everything is burnt, broken, crushed. As they take you onto the ship, you glance behind you at the palace that looks the same as the kingdom. You realize that this miserable chapter of your life is finally over. But what you haven't learned yet is that a new chapter of your life is about to begin. And it's going to change everything.

* * *

This is short cause it's kind of a prologue. I've found myself thirsting for Kylo big time. Shh don't tell my boyfriend. Anyway thanks for reading and may the thirst-I mean FORCE, be with you. ;)


	2. Chapter 2

The plan you devised to get yourself captured was dangerous, yet you had no fear. You were locked in a cold room on the ship, and somehow it felt better than being trapped in the palace for all those years. You waited in that room for a long time, with no windows and no clocks. Tired you were, but you couldn't fall asleep. Just because you were free didn't mean you were safe. Not yet, anyway.

Finally, you felt the ship land. A soldier removes the bindings on your wrists and ankles and he holds a gun to your back, forcing you to walk with all the other hostages they took from your planet. You make a point to listen to what was being said around you. By doing this, you learned that you are on the Starkiller Base, and these soldiers around you are called Stormtroopers.

A different stormtrooper stops you, this one is much taller and has chrome armor instead of white. She speaks to the one with a gun to your back. "Commander Ren orders to see her."

You are led in a different direction now, away from the other people they took from your kingdom. The stormtrooper brings you to a room, pushes you up to a chair and backs out of the room, the door shutting hard behind you. You look forward and you see him, the one who called you useful. He stands, he's about 20 feet away. And then he speaks.

"Tell me your name." He says, his mask-muffled voice echoing in the metal room.

"Princess Y/N." You say. Then you remember you're not a princess anymore. Given your situation, you're not afraid. You're curious. Intrigued. What is it about you that he finds useful. Why does he think you're 'useful' when everyone you've ever known thought you were just a catastrophic trouble maker.

"Who trained you to use the Force?" He steps closer.

But you don't understand. You have no idea what he's talking about. You stare at him for a moment, and although you are not afraid, you are a bit fearful of what he'll do if you don't respond eventually. "What? I don't know what that is."

He pauses. There's a moment where you're not sure what he's going to do next. But then you see his gloves hands reach for his head. He pulls back his hood and you hear a click as his helmet comes off, revealing who is underneath.

He's young. Probably not much older than you. He has curly, long, dark hair that reaches his shoulders, dark piercing eyes, and a sharp jaw. He's very handsome. You really didn't expect the man under that helmet to look like this. "You don't know what the Force is? Surely, that's what you were using when you knocked one of my men down with his own gun without laying a finger on him, is it not?" His real voice is deep, and you can tell just by hearing him speak that he's hiding something.

"You mean my powers? I wouldn't know if they're this thing you call the Force, I've never heard of such a thing." You can't take your eyes off of him. There's something about him, it draws you in.

"Has anyone taught you how to use your powers?" Once again he steps closer, the air feeling different when he does.

"No. I figured out how to use them by myself. And when people found out about them I was punished. I wasn't allowed to use them." You say this and he has a look of sympathy on his face.

"I'd like to see how you use them. I'm mostly certain that you are Force-sensitive. And if you are, I can train you to be stronger. Would you like that?"

You think for a moment on his words. You'd like to be stronger, but you'd really love to learn how to use your powers without letting it drain you. You've fought for yourself before, but it's never been easy for you to recover from a fight after you've used your powers. You never knew that your powers were a legitimate thing. You wonder if others have them. You want to learn more.

"Yes. I'd like that very much."

And with that he smiles, and a new chapter in your life has begun.

So I hope this story is going well but I guess all that matters is that I'm having fun writing it. And I am. If you enjoy, leave me a review cause that would be awesome. Anyway thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

After your short meeting with Kylo, you were shown to your room. The chrome stormtrooper from earlier introduced herself to you as Captain Phasma, and she told you that you get a special room all to yourself. But she seemed aggravated at the fact that Kylo is giving you even just a little special treatment.

In your room, you found a pair of comfortable-looking clothes in the dresser, so you changed. Apparently the First Order has some kind of curfew for new recruits, so you were told to stay in your room. Normally you tend to be a bit of a rule-breaker, but you didn't want to screw up your chance of staying on Kylo's good side. So you stayed in your room for the night, and eventually you got some sleep.

You awake the next morning to the sound of a radio. It's playing from your dresser. You turn over in bed and see a hologram of Captain Phasma, playing on repeat. Tiredly, you stand and walk to it, actually listening now that you're awake.

"Y/N, the robes on the dresser are for you to wear. Prepare yourself and then step outside your room. A trooper will be waiting to lead you to your first day of training."

After listening, you turn off the recording and look at the robes. It takes you a few minutes to figure out how to put them on correctly, but after you decide it looks fine, you brush your long hair and pin it up. Then you put on a pair of black boots that are only a size too big and open the door of your room.

The stormtrooper leads you to a large, dark room. He closes the door and the lights turn on. Kylo Ren is standing in the middle of the room. He's wearing his mask. Two stormtroopers are standing behind him. You walk to him, but keep your distance.

"To begin, I want to see what you can do." Kylo says, and a trooper walks closer to you. "Fight. Defend yourself. Wound him if you need to. I want to see you in action."

You can feel yourself getting anxious on the inside. But your hard outer shell knows you must do this. The stormtrooper strikes the first move, charging at you with his gun. He tries to hit you with his actual blaster, instead of shooting it, but you use your powers to push him back. He tries once again, he keeps trying to strike a blow, to knock you down. But you're blocking his every move. Until you can feel yourself getting weaker each time you block him. You know you can't continue like this much longer, so you use your remaining strength to push him back. This time he's lifted back so high that he falls and collides with the ground, finishing him.

You're nearly out of breath. But you keep your eye on him for a few moments to make sure he's down for the count. When you're sure he's out, you straighten yourself out and take a few deep breaths, trying to gain enough strength to walk back to Kylo.

You walk back to him and he has his helmet off now. He stares at you, he can tell you're obviously tuckered out. "Impressive. You are strong, and you know how to use your strength. But you don't know how to regain it. I want to know what drives you, what gives you your power. Follow me."

You walk with him. A stormtrooper follows but he stops when you get to your destination. Kylo leads you to a portion of the ship that seems like someone's chambers of some sort. There's a room with a small table and chairs, and Kylo puts his helmet in another room then returns and sits with you at the table.

"Would you like to tell me more about your life before we brought you here? I'm curious to know why you haven't tried to escape yet." He says. The atmosphere that surrounded you two when you were first meeting with him is gone, it's no longer tense between you two. This talk feels more casual. You say it almost feels like speaking with a new friend than with a mentor. You find it fascinating that he can be so stern and scary at times, but then other times he can be gentle and amiable.

But if you really faced it, you were scared to speak about your past. You don't have many good memories. But you knew Kylo could help you. So you begin. "I don't remember being taken as a baby from my family, but I know that I was. I wasn't born into royalty. I've never felt like a princess. I always felt like a prisoner."

"Why is that?" He leans in, intrigued.

"When I was seven, I learned that I had powers. But I didn't know how to use them. So naturally I played with them, I experimented. I tried to figure out what to do with them. I was young, I was a child, and one day I didn't get what I want so I threw a tantrum. They locked me in my room for a very long time as a punishment. I was angry. When they came back to let me out I showed them my anger through my powers. I hurt them, _badly._ But it didn't help my situation. Because then they thought I was too dangerous to be around anyone. That's how that palace became my prison. Because of a mistake I made when I was young. And I've had this hate and anger in my soul for so long, I let it get the best of me sometimes." By the end of your story, you are in tears. You were always so strong, always sure to never show your weakness to others. But that was easy when you never saw anyone. And now you were in front of one of the most powerful, evil men in the galaxy, weeping.

You expected him to dismiss you, to decide you are too weak to train, too weak to fight. You think you've just lost your chance at being free and learning how to use the Force. But his reaction leaves you surprised.

He takes you in his arms, holding you close. At first he doesn't say anything. He just strokes your back gently, and your head is on his chest and you can feel his heartbeat. It's a shock to you, you've never been in another person's embrace like this. After a while you calm down, your tears ceasing, leaving you with wet eyes and cheeks.

"I'm sorry.." You mumble, looking up at him.

"Don't be." He says softly, looking down at your damp face. "You've been through a lot. I'm sure you feel like your memories and emotions make you weaker, but they don't. You can use them to make you stronger. You can turn them into something better than pain, you can turn them into power."

"Is that what you did?" You wipe your eyes with your sleeve.

"Yes. I can teach you how to turn your hate and anger into strength." He gives you the slightest smile, and for once in your life you feel as if someone believes in you. Kylo wants to be your mentor because he believes you'll succeed. No one has ever believed in you before.

You stand, collecting yourself and nodding. "I won't let you down, Master Ren."

"Please," He says, leaning in and giving you a gentle kiss on the forehead. "Call me Kylo."


	4. Chapter 4

He gave you your own lightsaber. And taught you how to use it. It's red, like his. It wasn't easy at first, but over the course of a month and five hours of training every day, you master the Force, and your basic training is complete.

But Kylo says you still have much to learn. And you know this must be true because there are even times when he himself is learning, from you. He's an inspiration to you. You want to be as great as him someday. You want to help him lead the First Order. He believes that you will someday. You just need to prove yourself to Phasma, General Hux, and most importantly, Snoke.

You've learned that with the Force comes many more powers than you first thought. For example, you can sometimes sense what Kylo is feeling, or where he is. It's helped you to better get to know him.

And your time spent with him hasn't just been the hours of training, or watching him plan the First Order's next move. There were times when you spent the nights looking at the stars together, talking about your dreams. He still doesn't open up to you much. But you still feel like you know him better than anyone else.

As you're walking down one of the many hallways, you can hear the short chatter of a couple of stormtroopers. They say, "He's at it again." "Where?" "The North control room, I hear." You know what this means. Hurriedly, you run to where he is, and he's doing what he always does when things don't go as planned.

"Kylo!" You shout.

His shoulders are heaving. You can hear his ragged breathing through his mask. He turns around slowly and utters, "What?"

"You know, Hux hates you enough already. He's not going to be happy about this." You cross your arms, walking to him.

"I don't care." He puts his lightsaber away and storms off in the direction of his chambers. Naturally, you follow him, even though you know there's a chance he'll be angry with you for doing so.

"Kylo, please talk to me..." You say to him. He has his back to you, helmet off.

"I can't." He whispers, still not facing you.

You walk in front of him, and your hands reach up to hold his face as you look at his sad eyes. "Yes you can. Your emotions don't make you weak, Kylo. Remember? You told me that. They make you stronger."

"Not the ones I feel for you." And as those words left his mouth, you felt the weight in your heart shift. "I'm in love with you, Y/N. I can't deny it any longer."

You take a step back, hand covering your mouth in shock. You never thought you'd ever hear him say it. You felt it, you wondered if it was true. But you never thought he'd confess. And now he has, but he's ashamed.

"Do you..." You feel your eyes start to water, your voice cracks. "Do you think it's pulling you to the light, your love for me?"

"No." He locks eyes with you. "But it's a new emotion. I don't know how to use it like I know how to use the other ones. I don't know.. what to do with it."

You step closer to him again, you take his big hands and you hold them in your own. "Give me it. Give me your love."

He's taken by surprise. It's like he was sure you didn't have the same emotions for him that he has for you. "Do you love me?" He asks.

"I do. I didn't say anything, because I thought you would be angry. You're my mentor. My teacher. And I thought maybe you felt this way about me, but I couldn't be sure. But I'm so happy you told me. I want to lead the First Order with you, Kylo. And I want to be yours." Your statements are genuine. You want this. You want him. There's no going back.

"Then mine you shall be." He smiles and leans down, capturing your lips with his. His kiss is sweet, it's real. You can feel that he means this, there's no doubt in your mind.

When he pulls back you see something new in his eyes that you've never seen before. It's happiness. It's love.


	5. Chapter 5

For the first time in your life, you feel alive. Wholeheartedly, entirely alive. So many changes have happened in such a short amount of time. A lot of people would look at what happened to you and think it's a tragedy, but you know it as a blessing. Your home planet being destroyed, getting kidnapped, being trained to be evil. Anyone would see this as something horrible. Yet you believe it's what saved you.

You spend most of your days at Kylo's side. When he's at Starkiller Base, you help him with planning, you go to meetings with him, in some ways it's like he's training you to be just as great as him, which is everything you want. On the days when he leaves to go to other planets, you stay home. He says it's safer for you not to be with him when he's not at the base. But he has promised that someday he will take you with him. You're a bit scared to face the Resistance, but when the time comes you will do it. You'll do anything to make him proud, which will of course make yourself proud as well.

But today you spent the day in your chambers, which you shared with him now. You were reading in bed when he got home, late in the evening. He takes his helmet off and smiles at you, then proceeds to remove his outer layer of clothing.

You put your book down on the bedside table and sit up. "How has your day been, my love?" You ask.

He stands in front of his helmet, staring at it as he answers your question. "I've been thinking.. About us." You stay quiet, and he continues. "How can I dedicate myself to the dark side, if my heart belongs to you?"

"You don't have to choose, Kylo. You don't have to choose between me or the First Order. Both of us have given ourselves to the dark side. But that doesn't mean we can't have each other as well." As you say this he finally turns to you.

He climbs into bed and gazes at you. He knows what you say is true. And you know he's tired of holding himself back. Kylo leans in, stroking your cheek before pressing his lips to yours. This is it. He's not going to restrain himself anymore.

You can feel a tingling in your chest as you continue to lock lips with him. His hand moves down from your face, over your chest and down to your hip where it stays for a moment. Your own hands wander to his arms, gripping his muscles. A heat between you develops. You can feel the want in his kiss.

He pulls back slightly to look at your face. You give him a small, silent nod, to let him know that this is what you want as well. And the second he gets your consent, a small smirk appears at the corner of his mouth and he buries his head in the crook of your neck as you lie down on the bed. He leaves hungry kisses on your skin, covering you from your neck to your stomach in them.

It doesn't take long for your clothes to be removed, and you're laid under him, naked, bare. You're so close. There's no tension, nothing hold you or him back. Soon you are connected, and a wave of pleasure rolls over you. You wrap your legs around him, encouraging him to give it to you. He uses his arms to prop himself over you, moving his hips. You share a gaze with each other, you never knew another person could make you feel so good in this way. When you think it can't get any better, you feel him going faster, deeper, harder. You can't help but moan, saying his name, begging for more. He grips your waist and drives into you, his own moans muffled into your shoulder.

And then there's a moment of euphoria. You feel pleasure rippling through your body. He can feel it too. It's unlike anything you've ever experienced. His hips slowly stop, both of your bodies shaking, heaving. He rolls off of you, but you're still in his embrace.

And you wonder, how could he be so afraid of something that feels so right?


	6. Chapter 6

For weeks you have been preparing yourself for this day, helping Kylo prepare for this day. It's all you could think about the days before today. You're scared, but you're excited as well. How could you not be? This is the day you've been training for since day 1, since Kylo took you under his wing. Because this is the day you're going to show the First Order what you're made of.

Not long ago, Kylo got his first lead on the map to where Luke Skywalker is hiding, but chaos ensued after that, and a stormtrooper and Poe, a Resistance pilot that Kylo took hostage, escaped. The map is in a BB-unit droid, and the last people seen with it are an unknown girl and stormtrooper FN-2187. General Hux has been sending out troopers left and right to keep up with the trail of where the droid is heading, but this chase hasn't been easy so far.

And you've just been informed that they've found the droid. Kylo tells you this is the day. You're going with him, you're going to fight and do whatever it takes to get that droid.

You travel with him in his ship, wearing your official First Order uniform. Kylo picked it out for you, a black dress that resembles his robes, and although it's a dress, it has a wide skirt so it's actually very easy to fight in. A hood covers your hair, and your hands are covered in thick black gloves. You look like a sith. And you feel like this is who you were meant to become.

But when you land, everything hits. The ship opens and you follow Kylo off of it. Stormtroopers are everywhere, harassing the innocent people of Takodana, threatening their lives and even taking some. Your mission right now is to search for the droid. You have no time to admire the beauty of the planet, which is what you would have wanted to do before you joined the dark side.  
You're stepping over unconscious and dead bodies, rubble from the destroyed watering hole, broken trees and rocks and searching for for the droid or any of the people seen with it. You stumble upon a path of footprints in the dirt, and although they're nearly the same size as your own feet, you know they're not yours. They lead away from the scene of attack.

Quickly, you begin to follow the prints in the path. You follow her trail for at least a mile before you spot her, just as she's ducking under a groove in a tree. With your heart racing, you raise your wrist and speak quietly into the communicator. "I found the girl."

You hear Kylo reply. "Stall her. Don't let her get away."

You hear a small gasp. She heard you. She looks behind her and spots you, and takes off again. The chase begins, and you learn that she's fast, but you know you must be faster. Jumping over rocks, trees, avoiding the things in your way, running until the distance between you and her is small enough to use your power. You focus your strength, remembering the techniques Kylo taught you. The power of the Force knocks her out, and she trips and falls to the ground.

Finally you're able to approach her. You ready your weapon, standing over her to be ready for when she awakens. It doesn't take long for her to open her eyes. She sees you, and with fear on her face, she rises to her feet, trying to escape. She backs into a tree, and you hold your lightsaber up to her so close that if he moves even an inch, she'll be cut.

Your eyes meet with hers. You can see that she thinks you're going to kill her. You're not going to, because she knows where the droid is. But in this moment you question if you even could. Could you do it? Could you really slice her throat, watch the light in her eyes fade as she falls to the ground, lifeless.

Your thinking is interrupted when two stormtroopers stand on either side of you, and you back up and let them take the girl. Kylo is standing behind you when you turn around. "Well done." He says, and you follow him back to the ship, the girl being carried in his arms.


	7. Chapter 7 - RESISTANCE BASE

"They took Rey! We have to save my friend!" Finn says, trying hard to contain his panicking.

"We'll get her back, but you need to tell us everything you know about the First Order." General Leia calls a meeting, and Poe stands at Finn's side.

Beep, beep, beep.

Poe looks down at his droid. "What is it, BB-8?"

The droid opens its lenses, revealing holographic pictures of you and Kylo taking Rey onto the First Order's ship.

"Who is that with Ren?" Poe asks.

"That's Commander Y/N. I don't know much about her, except that she's very powerful. Kylo Ren trained her, and she's Force-sensitive." Finn says.

"Do you know where she came from? I've never seen her before." Leia says, signaling to a member of her crew to search BB-8's pictures, and find a clue to who you are. Soon enough, they find a match. They know about your past life, they know you were a princess. The city you lived in was partnered with the Resistance.

"Her and Kylo are kind of.. a thing." Finn says reluctantly. "At least that's what I heard from other stormtroopers when I was one. General Hux teases him about it too."

"Add her to our logs." Leia says, and they continue on planning the Resistance's next move.


End file.
